Wake an All-Star

Knuckpieces galore

42 year old knuckleballer Tim Wakefield is a first time All-Star.  If someone had walked up to be at the beginning of the year and told me that I would be writing that sentence in a blog I would have slapped them in the tooth and then searched them for crystal meth.  To think that Wakefield has been one of Boston’s most dependable starters blows my mind.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge Wake fan.  I mean this dude was cut as a first basemen and when fooling around one day, teams realized he could throw a mean knuck.  Fast forward 16 years and Tim Wakefield is going to be in St. Louis pitching in the All-Star game festivities firsthand instead of pitching a knuckle-full of Cheetos and Budweiser down his gullet.

Makes you feel good, right?  Welp, the haters are hating in full form.  Apparently AJ Burnett deserves an all-star nod over Wake because he gets more K’s (according to Keith Law).  Erm, excuse me Mr. Law but once you remove your head from the hole in the ground you like to call your asshole maybe we should have a talk.  Sure he is ERA is lower, yes that is a strong arguing point, but a win is a win.  Not only is it good in a pitcher’s stat line, but it is even better in a TEAM’S stat line.  That is why the league has a fascination with wins: because unlike crappy sports writers like yourself who think that MANNY RAMIREZ deserves to be in the All-Star game after using a banned substance, some people understand that the glamorous numbers don’t always equal helping your team when they need you.  Ask Alex Rodriguez.  

While I bitched wholeheartedly about the All-Star game last week, and am still pissed about some misplaced stars (see Jonathan Papelbon, Adam Jones, Josh Hamilton and Dustin Pedroia, even though Pedroia is one of my favs), it is nice to see the league get things right every once in a while.  Tim Wakefield, he’s one of them.

What just happened?

Nice job, Fellas.

The Red Sox proved a few things to me tonight:

1.) Nothing good has ever come out of Japan.

2.) Jonathan “Papelblown” Papelbon is not Mariano Rivera, though he likes to think he is.

3.) The Sox need to make a splash at the trade deadline

As far as Japan goes, welp, I feel like I get a better deal at the Hunan House buffet then Boston has gotten with these athletes. Let’s face it, they are overpaid, can’t play in the majors and aren’t as durable as home-grown prospects.  I don’t feel as though I need to be the one to tell you this, but Dice-K will never be an elite pitcher.  Okajima is about as reliable as a broken spedometer and Saito has snuck by with a mediocre season.  These pitchers just can no longer be leaned on.  Well, the whole Sox bullpen has been pretty unreliable but thats a different story for a different day.

Papelbon thinks he is the premiere close in the MLB.  He is not – not remotely.  Jonathan Broxton, Heath Bell, Mariano Rivera and Francisco Rodriguez are simply more reliable closers than Papelbon.  The scary thing?  Papelbon’s WHIP.  A staggering 1.38 is something that Papelbon has battled all year.  Somehow, he has managed to keep a low ERA on the table, but a closer can’t stumble around with a WHIP like that for long.  These base hits are going to turn into runs eventually.  Next year we will go into the Arbitration talks with Pap – again – and he will remind us that he wants Mo Money – again.  While he has not become a liability to the team, Papelbon’s dominance has trended downward since he burst onto the scene.  His ERA has climbed each year he has pitched from 0.92 to 1.85 to 2.34 last year.  He hasn’t been able to locate his fastball the way he used to and hasn’t turned to his secondary pitches enough.  Will he hurt the Sox this year?  I don’t think so, but anyone hoping for a long term deal might want to re-evaluate.

Finally a big trade.  We all like them.  Bay last year, Nomar in 2004, they always make the deadline more exciting.  Do I think the Sox have a glaring weakness?  No.  Do I think it would do them good to go after a Mark Reynolds or a Matt Holliday?  Absolutely. The news about Mike Lowell scares me and while Mark Kotsay is filling in well, he doesn’t provide the same prowess that Lowell has offensively.  While I really, really like Lowell, this hip really, really scares me.  The fix could be the young, K-prone Mark Reynolds in Arizona.  With Webb out for the season (most likely), the D-backs are gonna be liquidating assets faster than I can lose 100 bucks at a roulette table – fast.  The Sox need to put together a package for this kid with raw power that can play both corner infield spots.  I don’t think the Sox can piece together another playoff run the way they did last year.  Lowell and Drew are going to be question marks for the whole season and the Sox can’t afford to not have impact bats in their playoff lineups.  And yes, Drew is filthy in the postseason.  Let him coast by all year, I don’t care.  But you better believe JD “boneyard” Drew will be clutch in the playoffs.

But then again I could be wrong about all of this…

-Topher

K-Rod Sucks

 

0-Clutch

I truly watched one of the most bizarre moments in baseball history when I saw K-Rod walk in a run with the bases loaded.  The batter: Mariano Rivera.  One of the greatest closers of all time came up to bat for the 3rd time in his life, fouled off a 93 MPH fastball, and then walked in his first RBI of his career.  

K Rod is one of the best regular season closers in the game.  He has the record for most saves in a season.  But dude can’t pitch in the clutch.  The Sox have repetitively pounded him into the ground in the postseason, and tonight was further proof that this guy doesn’t have a clutch bone in his body.  When the heat is on, Francisco Rodriguez is about as useful as having one leg in an ass kicking contest.

-Topher

Great Mikes

I can’t beleive Michael Jackson died.  To say Thriller and Billy Jean will find a lot more play time on my iPod would be a gross understatement.  While his last years were chock full of controversy, there is no denying what the man did for music as well as the extent of his humanitarian outreach.  

This got me to thinking about all the other Michael’s in the world that I loved.  I think Great Mikes could be a continuing piece here on Masscrastination.  While Michael Jordan and Michael Irvin first came to mind, they left me feeling kind of the way I felt before I first heard Phil Collins: Empty.  I’m glad to know I can find comfort in the hands of this Mike…. Great Mike number 1.

Tainted Titles are a Joke

 

0-Standing Ovation

Los Angeles possibly has some of the dumbest and most ignorant sports fans in the world.  Some douche, a notable sports journalist in LA, was talking to Mike Felger (douche #2) and was  saying how Manny has tainted Boston’s titles and we haven’t won since 1918.  

Really?  

So Boston was the only team to win a title with someone who MIGHT have done steroids on their roster?

So the guy who has apparently tainted our titles but was never suspended in Boston makes us responsible how?

If you win the World Series this year with a cheater on your team, is your title tainted?

Are you dumb enough to give the guy who taints our titles a standing ovation when he returns to the your lineup?

Are you naive enough to think that not every team in the MLB has had/still has PED users?

Ask yourself these questions and if you still think Boston’s titles are tainted, well, you just prove you are from Los Angeles.

-Topher

Cheer up Children

My basement is starting to flood.  My pool is close to overflowing.  This weather is really bringing me down.  I consider myself a relatively jovial fellow but the Monsoon party that is New England has made me grumpier than Mike Vick after a bad dogfight.  While I won’t go postal on any Yorkshire Terriers, I will slap on this little tune.  I’ve been listening to it for a while now and no matter how depressed I am about the weather or the fact that I can’t marry Erin Andrews, 3oh!3 just cheers me right up.

-Topher

2004 Flashback

My Freshman year was a bit of a blur and between Miller High Life and some bad choices, I can’t say that I can tell you much of my experience.  From what I can remember, I do think back fondly on  the 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox.  2007 was great and all, but it wasn’t the same.  I wasn’t dressed up in my halloween cow costume in 2007, we didn’t tie Seth Weiss to a tree in 2007, and to the best of my knowledge no rogue pyromaniac’s burnt any boxes in the quad in 2007.  But 2004, boy was that a gem.  I enjoy thinking about everything it was to be a Red Sox fan pre-2004 and the countless references to Jeter and A-Rod’s sexuality.  I laugh to myself.  And now, by some miracle, faster then I could say Martha Stewart, I re-discovered this little beauty on youtube.  While not quite as topical anymore, it will still find that little Yankee hater in all of us.

That is all.

Topher Dubay