Must be Sweeps Week in the AL East

Thank you, Mr. Teixeira

…Cause the Yankees are on top of it. Again.

It might be with a 4-8 record for games in season against the BoSox, but hey, I’m not one to complain.

As a proud New Yorker, I wanted to personally thank Boston for the 6 1/2 game lead in the American League. No doubt we will squander the lead come September, but for now all is well in the Empire State.

The Red Sox are a lot like beach chairs: fun, relaxing, and fold up around Labor Day.

Acutal face of blogger Sean A. while watching Yankees/Red Sox series this weekend.

Job Hunt Update

Volunteer Work for Habitat for Humanity. It’s good, very good for a resume, but kind of like getting an N64 without Goldeneye.

How’s your search goin Casey?

We’ve Lost Rhode Island

Might as well be a Connecticut plate

There used to be a time when Rhode Island was like Massachusetts’s younger cousin. Just remember Little Rhody, the Paw Sox are a privilege not a right… check yo’ self and get your act together.

Quick Hitters…

Here are my thoughts on some current events over the past week.

Michael Jackson

How is it possible people are forgetting the MJ of the last 15 years?  If I told you in another life that someone who—1.) was repeatedly accused of child sexual abuse, 2.) changed his skin color, 3.) looked like a shotty haloween costume, 4.) made a living out of grabbing his crotch, 5.) live in a fairytale world culminated at his child-themed ranch named “neverland”, 6.) really looked like a shotty Halloween costume, 7.) left his children to Diana Ross, 8.) dangled a baby over a 3^rd floor balcony—was completely given a mulligan because of platinum records and a stellar childhood, you would probably call the cops. Insane.

Billy Mays

If Jacko’s tribute was hosted by the Lakers at the Staples center with speeches from Kobe and Magic, does this mean the Clippers will host Mays tribute? If so, I can’t wait for Chris Kaman’s speech and Michael Olowokandi’s story about how Mays made him a better basketball player.

Marcin Gortat

5 years, $34 million? *Cough*, excuses me, I thought you said million. We can now start using the phrase, “Mark Cuban Rich”.

I Miss College

No shit, huh? I don’t just miss the good times, it’s the fact that I am not learning anything anymore. And no, I don’t mean academically— college was a time I learned a lot of tips and life lessons that you just don’t pick up anywhere else. College is where I learned that if you start Zeppelin’s “Stairway To Heaven” and Rainbow Road on Mario Kart simultaneously, the “…and as we wind on down the road” part kicks in exactly as your final lap starts. College is where I learned that Hannaford is the most racist supermarket in the world because it sells Modelo Beer (cervesa) not in the beer isle, but in the “Mexican” isle on the 2^nd shelf next to the taco seasoning where only short Mexicans can see it.

I feel like my brain is getting soft these days, maybe I’ll read a bo…oh look, a squirrel.

Steve McNair

Rule #1 of being a professional athlete: Lock it up.

A shame.

Rasheed Wallace

I said about a month ago that my dream list of guys the Celtics should go after would be : Boris Diaw, Ron Artest, Shawn Marion, and Sheed (in no particular order). Anyone of those guys would replace the void left by James Posey that the C’s missed last year. Of course, Sheed isn’t going to be the defender the Posey was, but his rebounding skills will make up for that. Plus, how can you not be looking forward to a KG/Sheed stare down after his 30^th technical? Cut the shit.

P.S.- I watched game 4 of the 2008 NBA finals a few days ago. Let me tell you, it is bizarre to watch KG play. I never really understood how painful the Celtics were to watch this past season without him. He better be in a hyperbaric chamber in Tibet right now.

-Casey

Original Oregon Trail Game- You’re Welcome

No downloads needed. Play it here: http://www.virtualapple.org/oregontraildisk.html

The weather sucks again so here’s a little something to help you out. Note: Doesn’t seem to work on MSN, and may have a strange crackling noise, but that’s what mute is for; we all have to make sacrifices.

Thanks to CourtO for the tip.
-Nacho

New Kennedy Sexcapades

"Your wife is hot"

On July 14, author David Haymann will be release a book titled “Bobby and Jackie: A Love Story”. The novel alleges that Bobby Kennedy and Jackie O had an affair beginning six months after Jack’s death. Let the conspiracy theories begin: Bobby had to knock off big brother Jack to be with his one true love. I’m not buying it. There’s no way that a guy who couldn’t even kill Castro could pull off the most recent of the two presidential assassinations that people remember (let’s face it, nobody cares about Garfield or McKinley).
I do believe that Bobby had to comfort Jackie, and we all know that a lot of times comforting involves wild-crazy “I’m still in mourning and don’t know what I’m doing” sex. Can the mourning period last for up to four years? Of course. Does mourning involve nude sunbathing on a yacht? If you say no then clearly you’ve never lost a loved one. Otherwise there’s no way that the first lady leaves her war hero husband for his tag-along little brother, even if Bobby did do more for equal rights.

-Nacho

PS. Looking forward to the sequel about all of Ted’s drunken gropings, grabs, brush-ups, squeezes, and pinches.

This Man Sold a Monorail to Disney

Weezey Phone Home

Heard a short clip of this on Jamn this morning and new that I had to hook you all up with the full version.  Turns out that they caught the guy and are charging him with false emergency, maybe if it was Duval Patrick calling the Massachusetts State Police for an escort it would have been different.

My Two Cents: New Sales Tax Sucks

Today Governor Duval Patrick signed a bill that will increase the state’s sales tax from 5% to 6.25% starting August 1.  I’ll admit the gold dome of the Commonwealth has had some problems in the past, but never have I heard so much Beacon Hill BS due to a budget.  Yes, unlike New Hampshire Massachusetts has actual cities that rely on a sales tax to survive, however anything over 5% is outrageous. 

Does this mean that if I want to buy something at the Dollar Store I’m going to have to pay $1.06.25?  I’m no bank teller, but last time I checked the mint didn’t produce a coin worth a quarter of a cent.  They might as well raise the gas tax too just to screw everyone who’s going to be driving up to New Hampshire.

The perfect solution would have been to legalize horse racing, and send the now-defunct Boston mounted police ponies to the track; you would have killed two birds with on stone…or at least saved a trip to the glue factory.

-Nacho

Newton, MA…At Least It’s Not Somerville

Anybody’s who’s been reading the Newton Tab this past month has read about Alderman Lenny Gentile (ironic) getting Slumerville’s panties all up in a bunch over one of his speeches.  It’s taken me a while to actually get around to watching the video of the speech and now that I have I’d like to explain to you why it may be the greatest speech delivered by any alderman anywhere. 

• Gentile introduces his speech with one word, a proper noun, “Somerville.”  Anytime a speech is titled “Somerville” you know that it’s going to have a lot of backhanded jabs at people, because that’s what Somerville does. 
• I understand that Newton could be compared to Brookline and maybe Cambridge, but where or what is North Hampton?  What does Gentile mean by “some things that where going on in North Hampton”?  Why does he make it sound like there was a secret mob war going on in “North Hampton and communities like that”? 
• Somerville should be more upset that they were compared to Chelsea and Everett and should be grateful anytime their name is uttered in the same sentence as Newton. 

You can try to justify it any damn way you want but it’s BS, OK, it’s BS.

-Nacho